DON'T BE A FLAKE

It isn't right to be a flake.  I am sure you've been flaked on, and have flaked on others at some point in your life.  If not, you deserve a trophy for sure.  For real, you are great, so never change that about you if you never flake.  

Before we begin, let's first define a flake: One whom agrees to a task, gathering or responsibility and at their own discretion pulls out of the verbal agreement to follow through with the original plan. This is a JZ definition and is a true phenomenon across all cities, and perhaps worldwide.  It can be stopped, starting with YOU!

I personally don't tolerate flakes. I myself don't flake on people.  My word is my word!  My time is WAY too valuable.  I love myself WAY too much. The people in my life are WAY too precious to me and I would never ever hurt them by putting them second to anything else after I commit to them.  I would expect the same in return from them.  I am fortunate to have great people in my world and it is now time to set your parameters so that you too can surround yourself with loving and respectful people in your world.

Here are some tips to NOT FLAKE:

1) Don't make plans if you know you might bail out.  If you constantly put off a person, you are not interested in spending time with them.  Let's get real. 

2) So to piggy back off of #1, face it, and own up to that.  Don't even pretend because it is misleading and not nice.  When people ask me to go out and I have no desire to hang with them, I literally tell them that my schedule doesn't permit. If I do want to spend time with them, I get them on the calendar, even if it's a month out.

3) Don't overcommit.  When you tell a few people yes for the same night, you are going to flake on someone and that someone will get hurt.  

4) Avoid partial committing.  If you know you have a congested week, you are best off finding a week that has a bit less going on before committing.  You also need your rest and to honor yourself so you are best off being true to that.  If you want to tell the person that spontaneity is a possibility, fine.  But otherwise, don't lead 'em on.

5) Look at your calendar ahead of time and perhaps make a rule with yourself that you will not commit to more than 1 or 2 social outings a week at a time.  That might be an easy shift for you, to avoid flaking.

Flaking is a reflection of your character. If you flake socially, you will flake in other important areas of your life.  So do yourself a favor, start learning to not be a flake and if you are the one who is flaked on, here are my top 5 for you!

1) Have a 2 strike rule.  They flake once, no worries.  Twice-they can kiss your...(wait, that might be an honor so perhaps they can simply lose your number)  Wanna be generous?  Your choice.  Do 3 strikes!

2) Always explain to flakers that you know that you were flaked on and be honest about how that felt for you.  If they do it again, then obviously they don't care about your needs and that is not ok.

3) Always be sure that this person is worth your time.  If they are someone you really want to spend time with, but they might be a flaky type, go in without expectations so that you ultimately don't get hurt.  Then, follow #1.

4) Be clear from the get go that your time is valuable and that you look forward to spending time with that person.  Don't pry about them flaking cause then it looks desperate.  But do be clear that your schedule is quite packed and that you are glad that you were both able to agree on a date and time.

5) Get to know your people before you lend them your time.  You can get a general sense about their character before committing to plans.  You will occassionally be surprised, but that would be far and few between.  You have instincts, use them!